Tuesday, June 23, 2009

More Adoption Day Pics!

We went paddle boating tonight at the People's Park after dinner. We went with Kara's friend, Lela, and her new family. Their story is quite unique, as they also adopted a 9-year old boy from Beijing about 10 days ago, and then turned around and came here to adopt Lela. They are a very nice family and it was nice for all of us to spend the evening together. It was dark when we started boating, but it was pitch black when we finished. The girls enjoyed their first paddle boat ride.

We had lights out at 10pm tonight (just a few minutes ago) and I haven't heard a peep from the girls since. We came back to our rooms, they took showers and watched Tom and Jerry for about 45 minutes before bedtime. Of all the movies I thought we might try to buy when we were over here, Tom and Jerry wasn't one of them. The good thing is there are no words, so both girls enjoy it equally. They are mesmerized by watching it. It's pretty funny to watch.

Again, they walked around holding hands tonight and have gotten along so well.

Another thing we've learned about Kara... she is a neat freak. She has to have everything in order. If things start to get too messy in their rooms, she starts putting everything away. And beds HAVE to be made. She'll help get us (me) in order! Mommy's not a neat freak. :)

She has stopped calling us Mama and Baba and has started calling us Mommy and Father, although it sounds more like "Moddy" and "Fodda". She has the cutest little voice. I just love hearing, "Moddy".

I think I have surprised her by how affectionate I am. I am always hugging and loving on the girls. Leila has always been the more reserved, but Mia is Miss Affectionate++++. Last night, I tucked Kara in, gave her a big hug, kissed her on her forehead and said, "Wo Ai Ni" (I love you). She just giggled and I could tell it was an uncomfortable giggle. I talked to our guide today and she confirmed what I had read... Chinese are very reserved people and it is not common for parents to hug or kiss their children or say I love you to them. Of course, it is understood that the parents love their children and vice versa, but it's just not verbalized or as overtly shown as we are accustomed to. She said, "There is no way my parents would even say goodnight to me, let alone kiss or hug me. We just don't do that." She said that as an adult, she still walks around holding her mother's hand, but they do not say I love you or hug. She said that children do not see their parents show affection towards one another and that most married people don't say "I love you" either. She said that maybe on your 20th anniversary or something, they might say, "Yes, we love one another", but it's just not commonly said. Lastly, she said that people dating do not say it either. She said that a man might do something nice, like buy the woman a present or cut her meat, and then the woman knows that he likes her. I just love learning about other cultures so much. I had our guide ask Kara today if she liked being hugged, kissed and having her back rubbed... the answers were No, No and No. he he. We'll just see about that... I saved the hug, but she still got a quick forehead kiss tonight. An American mom's gotta do what an American mom's gotta do!!!!

6 comments:

Marla said...

Love the pictures! The girls are so cute together, they look like they have known each other forever.

LaLa said...

Oh you just LOVE on her and she will get used to it : ) LOVE all the pics of the girls together..can't wait to see Miss Mia in there

Julia said...

Our guide said the exact same thing about the affectionate hugs and I love you comments from parents to children. I found it so interesting, because she seemed really embarassed to even be talking about it with us. I would bet Kara will get used to those hugs and back rubs in no time! :-)

Ashley said...

You hug girl!!! I guess she will get used to it eventually!! I too find other cultures and their differences from our so interesting. The girls look absolutely adorable in their matching outfits - I bet Leila is loving it!!!!

Hugs!!! Ashley

Rebecca said...

A neat freak, yes?? Owen is too. :) He loves cleaning! I think it is partly a cultural thing - and yes, the affection thing, I can relate to that too! Owen is so weirded out when I kiss him goodnight (and I don't do anything elaborate, just a quick, "good night, I love you", kiss on forehead! You can tell he feels really uncomfortable with it. But I think he likes it. And I bet Kara does too. :)

So sweet about the paddleboat ride and Tom & Jerry before bed... sounds like things are going so well!

xoxo
Rebecca

Kristen said...

wow! so so so excited for you! your story is unfolding so beautifully!!!